6/3/2026 Hi, I’m back and sick of everyone’s shit. I have almost no real friends and the realization of that is crushing. I cannot be authentic, communicative, or logical in certain areas with lots of people. I get punished for it more often than not. I am not the most emotionally sound person, but still respect that it is nobody else’s problem and you shouldn’t take those feelings out on someone who has nothing to do with it just because you find it hard to cope with them. Venting and seeking comfort is one thing, treating someone like a punching bag you can get mad at for dumb ass reasons is another. Your friends are only enemies if you treat them as such. Why is it nobody understands that anymore? Socialization as a whole has taken such a massive hit in the past decade. As someone who waited 10+ years of their life to get out of an abusive home to find community and hopefully moderate success, the community aspect is jarringly lacking. I have tried SO hard. It makes me feel like an alien… You can grow up as much as you like, the people around you are not guaranteed to grow with you. Sometimes they go backwards and you just have to watch it all unfold silently. I wish there was one person I could just talk to without these insane expectations and abusive forms of “setting boundaries”. It is not a boundary to not want to be called out when you’re doing something wrong or hurting someone else. It is not a boundary to avoid accountability over your actions because it’s too triggering for you to admit that you just aren’t in a good place and shouldn’t be talking to someone at that moment. You have the option to take a step back first before doing so. Say nothing instead of what you could say. If you must, tell them it isn’t a good time to talk about it. Set a time for when it is. That right there is an actual boundary being set. Everyone has a right to their emotions, everyone should feel things to their fullest extent to understand and move past them. I feel like once it comes down to consideration of others, that line is blurred heavily for a lot of people. You taking your current negativity out on someone who cares for you and doesn’t intend to hurt you is not processing. It is fuel for whatever is going wrong in your life or mind. Please remember to take time for yourself for the love of god. I feel like a vessel for entertainment and therapy sessions. I never talk about what’s wrong with me but I listen to everyone else. I know that part is on me, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that these types of relationships go both ways. I’m an enabler. I don’t set my own boundaries to avoid losing people, which leads to that. I’m just starting to realize maybe those people are worth losing anyways. I shouldn’t be afraid to speak up for myself anymore.